cRaptured Away

"Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities" --Voltaire

Monday, January 30, 2006

convenient monsters

It seems to me that when the issue facing the President is his failure to catch or kill the murdering shitbag who attacked America on September 11, 2001, Mr. Bush doesn't seem to be very concerned

On the flip, when Emperor Chimp-stain gets caught with his ass in the breeze over Domestic Spying, suddenly, and as if on cue, Osama makes like a fuckin' groundhog and President George, simpering little bitch that he is conveniently becomes concerned if it will help him spin his Big Brother tactics as a necessity.

Friday, January 27, 2006

F'ing with Gonzo

Fucking with Gonzo

Between taking various agents of the US Department of Justice off of more pressing matters to resurrect the great government wankathon that is the investigation of pornography, Gonzales' DOJ recently pressed the three major internet search engines to turn over their search logs mainly under the fear that somewhere, someone might be looking at stuff that might make Baby-Jesus-as-envisioned-by-the-Bush-crowd cry (or jack off)

So far, Google has fought the DOJ on tbis and refused to turn over their search logs

IN the event that google eventually accedes to the request, it is my goal to have Google's search logs filled with just enough hits on enough bizarre and outlandish shit that blurs the line between porn and politics that it confuses the crap out of whatever bunch of swinging bureaucratic dicks gets called in to actually analyze the logs

So, with that in mind, please click the following links to really give the Ministry of Love something to ponder:

Monday, January 23, 2006

Chris Matthews would be right at home with the ho's on East Van Buren

From the "Open Letter to Chris Matthews" blog which was born in the wake of his decision to shoot his GOP-whore mouth off, we see a few shining examples of why the "Liberal Media" has been a myth for ages:

  • MATTHEWS implies Al Qaeda is 'trying to get people to vote Democrat for president.' He asks Democratic Senator Breaux: 'Doesn't it put your party in a terrible position of having al-Qaeda rooting for you?' (Hardball, 7/18/04)

  • MATTHEWS accuses Democrats of "perhaps exploiting" the death and destruction in Iraq (Hardball, 11/1/05)

  • MATTHEWS says Bush sometimes "glimmers" with "sunny nobility" (Hardball, 10/24/05)

  • MATTHEWS suggests Bush may "belong on Mount Rushmore" (Hardball, 12/16/05)
  • MATTHEWS argues that the U.S. went into Iraq "for altruistic purposes" (Chris Matthews Show, 9/25/05)

  • MATTHEWS insists "everybody sort of likes the president, except for the real whack-jobs" (Hardball, 11/28/05)
  • MATTHEWS recites GOP talking points during fight over Bush's judicial nominees, describes Democratic efforts as "just sort of pouting and bitching" (Hardball, 5/18/05)

  • MATTHEWS levels baseless charge against Democratic efforts to complete intel probe as "disingenuous," "using crocodile tears" (Hardball, 11/1/05)

  • MATTHEWS describes Supreme Court debate as division between strict constructionism versus the "loosey goosey" liberal approach (MSNBC, 10/3/05)
  • MATTHEWS praises Bush for a "brilliant" speech, before it was delivered, while attacking Democratic critics as "carpers and complainers" (MSNBC, 11/30/05)

  • MATTHEWS falsely attacks Democrats for accusing Alito of being "lenient on the mob" (Hardball, 10/31/05)
  • MATTHEWS praises John Roberts' confirmation as "miraculously successful" (MSNBC, 9/29/05).

Good lord, if he's gonna fellate the White House and the RNC with that much enthusiasm, you can just see the strands of saliva and other fluids glistening off of his lips and the hear bad 70's porn music in the background

Sweet jeeezus, does he gag? Does Karl push down on his head?

And since the Clinton Blowjob is the only presidential scandal for which he can muster any ire, maybe it'd be better frame the issue of his sycophancy to Bush by asking Chrissy-boy when he's getting fitted for that blue dress

Happy suck day, Matthews.

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

If that was how she was gonna use it...

...God should have never given Lucianne Goldberg a uterus:

Ignoring the infinitely more recent examples and historically consistent habit of "Conservatives" to crawl into bed with monsters and dictators:

Jonah "Sorry-assed, Doughy pantload" Goldberg reaches back 85 years to the Sacco-Vanzetti case to make a point about the wrongheadedness of liberals because of something George Clooney said.

Mr. Goldberg, let me remind you it was a conservative president who authorized the decision to use the CIA to overthrow a democratically elected leader in Iran in August of 1953, replacing him with a tyrannical dictator who was more friendly to American business interests, It was another conservative who decided that putting Saddam Hussein on America's payroll was a good idea and that genocidal dictators in Central America were good allies. It's a conservative president now who, through his blind stubborness and rampant incompetence, has inflicted as much if not more misery upon Saddam's former subjects than the mad dictator himself did when he was the lap-dog of Reagan and Bush the Elder.

Does the name Islam Karimov ring a bell to you, Jonah? Friend of Bush, boils dissidents alive. Anything?

Next time you're in DC, ask Director Negroponte is the phrase "flying nun" brings up any other associations besides bad television shows from the 60's

Prescott Bush + Fritz Thyssen = Bush Family Dynasty.

Jonah, while you're at it, ask Henry Kissinger why he's not welcome in Chile.

Monday, January 09, 2006

Well then that pretty much rules you out, buddy.

In what may well be one of the most laughable remarks made by a wingnut in recent history, Samuel "scAlito" Alito says somthing that is undeniably true, but fails to realize how it applies to him in the negative.

Quoth Scalito: "Good judges don't have an agenda, don't look for partisan outcomes and always 'do what the law requires' "

Come on, Sammy, the only reason that The Chimp even considered you is because you will carry water for him and HIS imperial agenda, which you share.

More laughable still was a remark from Sen. Orrin Hatch (R-UT) asking the Senate not to let politics enter into the confirmation process

"We must apply a judicial, not a political, standard to this record," Hatch said.

Bullshit, Senator.

Everyone George W. Bush has nominated to the bench or to positions in his cabinet has been for expressly political purposes and not because they were genuinely and sincerely the best person for the job.

*Mike Brown at FEMA: yeah, a low level horse-show lawyer as the guy in charge of disaster response. Best man for the job? Hardly. He certainly did a "heck of a job" with that whole Hurricane Katrina situation now, didn't he.

*Bernie Kerik even nominated for the USDHS? Hah. It took a rare moment of the media taking the Rove-tool out of their mouths and raising questions about his personal ethics to de-rail that guy.

*Harriet Meiers: No nothing political there other than her gross and blatant sycophancy

*Priscilla Owen: Right-wing fanatic to appease The Base

*Need i go on?

No, Strip-search Sammy is no different, Bush and/or his handlers want to create an over-powerful Executive branch in order to give themselves carte blanche to whatever abuses they wish to commit and they need someone to interpret the Constitution in such a way as to grant their wish.

The agenda behind his appointment, Senator Hatch, is nakedly political and you insult the intelligence of millions to even imply otherwise.

Well then that pretty much rules you out, buddy.

Arrest me, Bitches.

Emperor George W. Chimpy-McWhistle-ass just signed a law stating that anyone posting annoying web posts, messages or e-mails must do so with their actual name.

The language was slipped into an unrelated piece of legislation as part of a reauthorization of funding to DOJ.

There was better language previously in place as part of an anti-stalking statute, but the basic gist of this new language seems to be that the anonymous expression of controvertsial and potentially "annoying" opinions (though precisely what constitutes "annoying" is not clearly defined if at all) could now be criminlaized

Here's what i have to say to that:

Fuck you, George, I ain't gonna,

Fuck your mouth-breathing, kool-aid drinking apologists, your cabinet members, and most of all, fuck your misguided worshipers who revere you as if you were God's chosen President.

In fact, fuck them most of all, they are all loads their mothers should have swallowed.

With that said, the gauntlet is thrown down:

now come get me you subliterate sack of shit son of a sociopathic silver gorilla.

come on, send me a team of the finest federal Brownshirts that Abu Gonzales can muster.

See if i don't actually decide to take that asshole G. Gordon Liddy's advice.

May your terriers conjugate on your leg, you testimony to the possibility of rectal gestation.


The Crapture
(clearly not my real name)

The Crapture